Troublesome Mornings
by NaniMok
Summary: Kakashi wasn't one to wallow in self-pity but he couldn't seem to help himself. At least for today. Thank goodness Sakura comes in to shake him out of it. KakaSaku. Oneshot.


Mornings are too troublesome. Constant chirping were grating on his ears as he struggled to make sense of their high pitched melodies. Even with his eyes closed, the sun had managed to pierced through his pleasant dreams and grudgingly, he managed to make himself sit on the bed. His left eye, dry and irritated, pulsed painfully underneath his eyelid. Stretching, he heard the many bones of his verterbrae crack and inwardly he winced. He did not need another reminder of his lost youth, he already had a huge green beast to remind him every single day. Not to mention that his students were getting busier and busier and it was increasingly harder for him to keep up with their schedule. He did not have the benefit of demon chakra inside him or the ability to store chakra for long periods of time. Sighing, he faced the fact that it was getting all too troublesome.

Kakashi didn't need to remind himself that he was becoming more and more like Shikamaru as well. But, he had to acknowledge, Shikamaru is a genius so he must have reason when something is too troublesome. And these last couple of days, everything has been becoming a bit too troublesome for Kakashi. Or maybe it was just today.

Kakashi laid back on his pillow and looked at the ceiling. He wasn't one to wallow in self pity, but today he just couldn't seem to help himself. Although the pressure of war have lifted, another began to settle, one that clutched his gut and refused to let go. He closed his eyes, laid his forearm across them. Washing over him was the feeling of regret and he stood back and rewatched his memories. The sources of his self pity.

First of all, Obito. How could have Kakashi not recognised him, he shared his eyes for Kami's sake. Kakashi had come to term with one thing during the war. As the huge splinters ripped through the organs of his allies, he had accepted that the Obito he knew was dead. This Obito wasn't his Obito, or _Rin's_ Obito. This Obito was someone completely lost on the crooked path of life. He felt the bubbles of frustration linger on his skin. Kakashi couldn't help thinking that maybe the war could've been prevented if he had done something about Obito sooner. Obito was his fricking friend and he never once thought to try and salvage his body once the last war had ended. Even if it were enemy territory, he was Kakashi _damn _Hatake, _the _Copy Nin. He could've gone about it in a way that wouldn't incite war. The Sandaime would've given him permission for him to retrieve the body of his best friend. Oh yes, Obito was his best friend and he couldn't give him the honour of a proper burial if he had truly died. If he had, he would've seen Obito's missing body and would've hunted it down. Things would've inexplicably change and it would've been different.

Then there was Rin. Rin with her beautiful brown eyes and purple streaked cheeks. Rin was one of Kakashi's biggest regrets. The underlying regret that despite the attention and care she showered on him, Kakashi could never return least in the way that she had wanted him to. Dissapointment was something he saw in her eyes everytime he tried to smile at her and now dissapointment was all he saw when he faced himself in the mirror. Kakashi tried, oh he tried, to honour his words to Obito by taking care of Rin and giving her what she wanted the most, himself. But he couldn't lie to himself and he certainly couldn't lie to her when she deserved better. She deserved more than scum like him. She deserved the love Obito had kept on a tight box for her. Had she lived things would've definitely be different.

Kakashi wasn't going to even start on his students. He wasn't good with people so how anybody could think that he was good with children was insanity itself. Yet that was what the Sandaime had in mind. He didn't even want to start on the ways he had failed them as a teacher when he himself was doing the most learning in the process. How they got this far was the result of their own original strong characters and he thanked the heavens his student had them. Out of all three of them, the one he failed the most had to be not the one he tied to a tree, nor the one he uses a thousand years of death on. No, the one he had failed the most had to be the one that he treated with indifference. After all hate and love were two sides of the same coin. The true opposite to them would be the absence of any hint of emotion towards them. And because of that he dearly regretted that he had not tried harder to keep in touch with Sakura. He should've talked to her more during her apprenticeship, invited her over for tea, give her lessons, do something to show that he _cared_ about her.

Enough with regrets, Kakashi decided. He was getting really tired with all these regrets. Regrets were there so he could change the future. Kakashi was determined to stop being a hermit and walk in, he shuddered briefly, bright daylight and socialise. A swim through the sea of depression was not how he wanted to start his day off with. He had too many things he wanted to do today; he had an Icha Icha book to reread, he had Naruto to train with, Yamato to bug, Gai to compete with, Sasuke to supervise, Sai to catch up with and Sakura to mooch food off of. That sounds like a pleasing and busy day. Kakashi nodded to himself. That is surely the better way to spend your day off.

But maybe a small nap first. Kakashi yawned and prepared to fall back asleep. Just as he was drifting off, a loud bang reached his ears and the rebounded soundly againt the wall.

"Good morning Kakai-Sensei!" Sakura sang, doing her best impression of a whale call in his opinion.

Kakashi grunted in greeting and lifted his palm weakly.

Sakura bounced across the room, ripped the curtains of the wall, he swore he even heard a bit of the ceiling fall down, and leaped onto his bed beside him. Kakashi flinched as the light kissed his face awake forcefully and bounced slightly at the bed. Something heavy settled beside as the bed sunk. A grumble built in his throat as he moved his arm, opened his lazy and regarded the sight before him. Emerald eyes looked back at him. Hands cupped her chin, her noes dainty, she stared at him with a smile on her face. Kakashi would describe it as cute if not for the fact that she was trying to burn him with sunlight.

Kakashi moved his arm, stared at her and raised his eyebrow.

"It's time for you to get up and get some breakfast. We're going to the riverside to have lunch and celebrate but before that I'm going to drag you, Sai and Naruto to visit Sasuke-kun," Sakura enthused as she started swaying her legs back and forth in the air from her lying position on the bed. Her voice was still taking a playful sing-song attitude."So it's time to wakey wakey Kakai-shi."

"Umgh." Kakashi closed his eyes and turned his head towards her. "Too sunny. And again later."

Sakura rolled her eyes as she pinched a bit of the mask and let it fling itself back to Kakashi. Kakashi rolled over in annoyance."It's probably hot because you're sleeping with your mask on. If you'd just stop being so paranoid about Naruto bursting in, your face wouldn't have such dramatic tan lines."

"I can't let my guard down now more so than ever." Kakashi motioned to the door. "Not after my door has been subjected to drastic violence by a certain pink haired ninja."

"Whoops." Kakashi could just hear the sincerity in her voice. The lack of it that is. Sakura sat up on the bed and laced his fingers in his hair. She scratched his head as if to apologise and Kakashi sighed."I'll get you a new one later. Come on Kakashi-sensei, it's your birthday. You should be up celebrating your 'years of youth,' as said by Gai-sensei."

Ah, Kakashi realised, so that was why he was wallowing in self pity today. It was his birthday. It was nice of Sakura to stop his wallowing but now he just wanted a small nap.

As her nails scratched his scalp, Kakashi found it to be soothing and not at all distracting. The motion helped him drift off to the state of drowsiness he was in before. However, then the scratching stopped. Kakashi sighed in despair and opened one eyelid to find that Sakura's face in front of him as she lied beside him on the pillow. Warmth radiated from hear, a warmth that was more appealing to him than the sun's. In the same way her eyes captured his with its purity and shine. His flower had really bloomed these last couple of years. In intelligence and strength. Kakashi appreciated that she has really grown quite beautiful. But he wasn't really used to that kind of warmth. A blossom like her are usually reserved for people who deserve it and he didn't deserve such warmth.

"Wallowing again?" She asked him.

He didn't asnwer. Instead he scanned her face, he saw that her lips was slightly turned into a frown.

"Kakashi-sensei," she whispered softly, "Today's your special day. It's no use thinking about what could have been or what might have been."

It seems she was a mind reader as well. Kakashi broke the eye contact and shifted his eyes somewhere else. She had gotten really good at doing this to him. The Sharringan was useless agaisnt Sakura when she could read him as easily as he could read the Icha Icha series. Sakura was one of the only people who had seen both his outer and inner scars. Instead of reeling back in horror and pity, she gave him sympathy and a listening ear. That was the first time that he said more than a couple of sentences and the first time he saw Sakura being docile and quiet. It didn't fit her at all though. He was slightly relieved when Naruto barged in and incited Sakura to hit him by saying something perverted.

Still, Kakashi felt something change that day. As if pieces started sliding together and found that they fit. Kakashi liked that feeling. A smidgen of peace is something worth pursuing, thus, Sakura and Kakashi have been spending more and more of their free time together.

Even as Sakura saw his eyes slid past her face she continued. "Feeling guilty about things you had no power to change is a horribly miserable way to spend your birthday."

Kakashi felt the caress of her finger as she traced his scar over his right eye. She continued to say, "When you go to Rin tonight, don't you think she'll get bored at you relaying your day being sulky?"

He didn't answer again but Kakashi had to admit, she had a point. He was being a real downer and on his own birthday no less. That would've been the last thing Rin would've want.

"I'm probably a rookie at thinking of what might have been or what could have been compared to you." She stopped tracing his eye to sweep wayward strands of hair out of his face. "But eventually even I, Sakura Haruno, the number one Uchiha fangirl, got sick of sulking behind Sasuke-kun."

Kakashi wanted to point out that Ino was the one who caled herself the number one Uchiha fangirl but he didn't want to have his eye gouged out by Sakura.

"I was tired of waiting for Sasuke-kun," Sakura puffed out, "in the same way you're probably tired of all these regrets. So come on, Kakashi-sensei, it's your birthday! Go crazy! Read as much porn as you like. It's your day to have fun."

Kakashi looked, really looked into the sea of green infront of him and found that, in them he could find the will to forgive himself. He breathed her in, her scent helping to clear his fogged mind. Something inside him melted and settled pleasantly like honey and he found that it was the perfect remedy for the sadness he was feeling. He took the hand that was sweeping through his hair and squeezed it. His calloused thumb gave small carressed againt her palm and his eyes closed in a smile.

"Thank you, Sakura-chan."

Kakashi made a move to get up, failing to notice how the colour of Sakura's cheeks echoed her hair.

"But-" He yawned and streched his back, thought a bit, before adding. "You would've never had a chance with Sasuke anyway."

And swiftly the blus dissapeared. Sakura's eyebrows dipped in warning as she glared at him. "What do you mean? What are you trying to say? And be careful of the words you choose."

Oblivious to the danger before him, Kakashi continued to stretch him arms and Sakura's eyes couldn't help to scan his broad shoulder's in appreciation. She couldn't help to get distracted at how defined his shoulders were, even though she saw many other chiseled shoulders as a medic. Somehow Kakashi-sensei's ones were the only ones that interested her nowadays. In secret of course. She would never hear the end of it if Naruto found out.

"I'm afraid you never had a chance with Sasuke-kun," Kakashi eyebrows started wiggling, "because there's only one thing that Sasuke's interested about."

"And that is because?"

"He's gay."

"What?! He can't be-" A million thoughts interrupted Sakura's sentence. Thoughts of Sasuke and Naruto fighting. Thought of Sasuke's smirk aimed at Naruto. And thoughts of Sasuke's obsession with Naruto's power. "-can't he?"

"Well think about it." Kakashi eyes took on a devious glint. "Who is the only one that could ever get a rise out of him? Who is the only one that he tolerates? And who," he emphasised by wagging his finger up and down, "is the one that he stares at all the time when he thinks no one is looking?"

Sakura's eyebrows drew in confusion. Sasuke-kun, staring at someone. Who could it have been? Unless-

"No way." Sakura eye's almost bulged out of her face. "No way!"

"To quote Ino," Kakashi, continued, "_way."_

"I wouldn't have thought that Sasuke-kun would be interested in guys! Much less Naruto!"

Kakashi yawned again, said drowsily, "Only you and Ino. The rest of us saw the way his eyes lingered when Naruto trains shirtless."

Sakura giggled scandalously. "And what about Naruto? He's pretty into Sasuke-kun too. Always following him everywhere and getting all touchy with him if you know what I mean." Sakura tried to wag her eyebrows up and down in reminisce of Kakashi's but the effect wasn't the same. Kakashi only glanced at it lazily and shook his head with dissapproval.

"Oh hush, I tried." Sakura rolled her eyes which happen to land on the bag that she threw on the floor right after she had abused the door. Kakashi's curiousity reared its head when she came back holding a book.

"This," she pointed ot the book, "is your birthday present! It's also an incentive for you to get out of bed and get ready since you can't read it until you are up and dressed!" Sakura held the book close to her chest before slowly showing him the cover.

Kakashi's eyes glazed over and tears pricked his eyes. It was as if Naruto's shadow clones jump through his window and sang an eight part harmony. What was before him was marvellous, beautiful, divine and sacred. His hands itched to touch the magnificent cover and Kakashi wondered if he should start lowering his head in a bow since a little worship is appropriate for this ocassion.

"It's Icha Icha Tactics in graphic novel form," Sakura announced. Reverting her eyes, she blushed slightly as she recalled, "I got bot Sai and Naruto on board and we have been working on it for these past couple of months. Sai mostly did the drawings, I did the editing and..."

Focusing on the novel, he tuned out the this was heaven. A custom drawn Icha Icha. Oh his lovely, dear students. He had the best students in the history of shinobi. He promises to stop throwing kunais at them for fun because they got him the best present in the history of present. In which case, he needed to get his hands on it now.

Kakashi was so busy approaching the book with fingers wiggling that he did not see Sakura's expression shift ferociously and smacked the book across his head. Pain diffused and he swore he could see stars. "I can't believe that you read this kind of thing! Naruto almost passed from blood loss at having permanent nosebleed! I assigned him to weave the pages and design the cover which," She took a break from abusing him to put a finger next to her mouth in thought, "was very tastefully done and not orange. Who knew Naruto had style?"

"Ow." Kakashi rubbed his tender head. "It's my birthday you know, you shouldn't be hitting me. "

Eyeing the book with glee, Kakashi slyly said, "You should instead give me the book and leave me to be."

"I'm not going to leave you to your mindless porn now. You'll never leave the bed!"

"It's not _just_ mindless porn." Looking slightly indignant, Kakashi crossed his arms. "It has a tragic, passionate romance, well-planned espionage and conflicting but relatable issues that speaks to the heart of the viewers set in a modern backdrop "

"Really, huh?" Sakura began flipping through the pages. "All I see are limbs entwined with each other, in places which look unnatural. Maybe I should ask Tsunade-sama for a third opini-"

"No!" Kakashi quietly closed the book frantically and had a firm grip of the book. He decided to take another approach. He looked at her dead straight in the eyes. "Sakura-chan, I'm speaking as your sensei. Give me the book."

To which she said, "No."

"Sakura-chan," whined Kakashi.

"No."

Drastic times calls for drastic measures. He gave an experimental tug and the book did not move an inch. Curse his studen't freakishly super strength.

"If you give me this book now," Kakashi negotiated, "I will be the one to drag Naruto to his dentist appointment."

Sakura looked momentarily tempted. "Hm... Tempting... But Hinata is taking him to his doctor appointments from now on so nope."

He pouted, "Please Sakura-chan?"

"Nope."

Kakashi sighed. "Remember when you used to respect me and did everything I asked without question."

"That was before I got to know my pervert sensei who's only purpose in life is to giggle and read porn." Sakura pushed out a bit chakra to take the book out of his hands.

"I don't giggle." Kakashi pointed out. "I chuckle. There's a difference."

Sakura rolled her eyes again at the grown man practically begging her for his porn. "You giggle. Now come on, take a shower and get dressed while I make breakfast."

Kakashi's lips began curving into a pout behind the mask as he exparatedly breathed out a, "Fine."

Pleased, Sakura got off the bed and began to go into the kitchen but Kakashi remembered something that he had for her.

"Hold up Sakura-chan," Kakashi said as he opened the cupboard beside and took out her present.

Sakura's eyes widened in suprised, softened when she scanned the piece of ribbon he held at his fingertips and raised her hand to feel her hair. She had lost her ribbon headband a couple of missions ago and had remained ribbonless because of working tirelessly at the hospital for days on end. Now as she looked at the laced but sturdy pink ribboned headband, she felt a warmth spread throughout her body originating from her chest.

"I bought it in Kumo during my last mission since your other one broke."

Disintergrated would be the best way to describe it. A jutsu that just missed Sakura but got her hair band. It was funny how women work. Stab a kunoichi in the shoulder and she wouldn't blink but destroy her headband and her face would fall as if she lost a dear friend. Kakashi decided then and there to give her a better, sturdier one, he had one particular one in mind that he saw while walking by the market.

"Kakashi..." With speed that would match his own, Sakura closed the gap between them and Kakashi felt her arms wrap around him. He breathed in the sweet, subtle smell of cherry and wrapped his arms around her in return. Resting his head on top of hers, she hugged him tightly before whispering softly, "Thank you. It was so sweet of you and I love it but it's your birthday you shouldn't be giving me a gift."

Kakashi let his cheek sink into her hair and basked in the bundle of warmth in his arms. "That's right. It's my birthday, I should think that I could do anything I wanted to."

Sakura craned her neck and smiled at him. A brilliant, glistening smile. Once again Kakashi let himself fall into a sea of emerald. He could tell that today was going to be great, far from its depressed earlier start. An image of Rin and Obito flashed across his mind and he realised that he has had enough regrets for a lifetime. He really was getting tired from his regrets. From now he would do his best to live and act daringly without any regrets. It was his birthday and this resolve would be his gift to himself. He felt like a new man.

Starting from today, starting from right now, there will be no more regrets.

"Sakura-chan, can I have the book now?"


End file.
